Monday, June 28, 2010

your little girl

{LETTER CHALLENGE Day 3 — Your Parents} (Sunday Post)

Dear Mommy,
Oh what I wouldn't give to touch your face, hear your voice, or feel your embrace. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you and how much 'I AM, you', you truly taught me how to live and for that I am forever grateful. I remember so much about you and yet I feel I had such a very short 14 years to know everything about you. When I'm driving alone, I can picture you driving me around when I was younger singing your heart out to your favorite song, you loved music and you had such an amazing voice. I remember you teaching me how to bake, you would set me on the counter top and so me how to bake cookies from scratch or those yummy pumpkin pie, which Cirilda how down to a science now. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you, how sorrow clouds my heart when I think about my son no really getting the chance to meet his Grandma, how bad you wanted a little boy.. guess what mom you got him, and he is such the character just know you two would have had a ball and I know Goya is taking the place of what you would have done, he is Goya's ace-coon-boon for sure. She gets him and saves him for all sorts of troubles. I'm working hard mom, the way you always showed us how and although we have out moments, us five girls stick together, no matter what. I know there is a lot I should be doing to make you proud but I hope you know I'm doing my best, Sadira is there guiding me whenever I need that support and love of a mother, you left us in great hands, she even takes care of dad. We all miss you mom but I can't help but feel they got more then me... I was the youngest and got the least time with you... I feel like you missed so much of my life while, you were there for them. I know it's selfish of me to think this way and I promise I wont complain because at least I know you lived, loved, struggled and still went on! I have to tell you mom that sometimes it's extremely hard for me to look at Vita, she looks just like you mom, she even wears her make-up like you sometimes and it's just breath taking and almost too much to bare but I think dad think we all look so much like you, that's why he tears up every time he sees and embraces us, yes embrace us, dad has gotten so much better with 'loving' us and showing it, you should be proud of him, he says I love you A LOT and is always full of hugs and kisses. He has come a long way. Mommy you are the strongest women I know and I hope that I can live up to the women you were, mother and wife. Even after death I think about how you ran your house hold and held down 2 jobs, I boast about having a mom who worked and still managed to cook us three meals everyday and help us do our homework, how did you do it? Mom I just wanted to thank you because I never got to, thank you for giving me life, thank you for showing me how to love, live, laugh, and GIVE! I know one day we will meet again and although it seem like a lifetime since I smelled your scent or heard you sing, "Jimmy I married your best friend John...." still all that lives with me, while I drive and sing, cook and clean, play with Exavier, and work my butt off at work. Although you weren't here very long, you filled this world with something, that will forever remain, no matter how many year pass, your PROUD spirit floats around and give me courage and strength to be the women you wanted me to be. I love you, I miss you.

moomoosh dela

Dear Papa,
I remember someone asking you once, "wow 5 girls, didn't you want any boys?" you replied, "Nope, I got all I wanted, my girls". What you had to deal with raising 5 women, you should win a life time achievement award! Lord know you deserve it. As I grow older I look at you and I can't believe all this life has put onto your shoulders, I see such sadness in your eyes and it breaks my heart, I can't imagine losing the one I'm married to, after sending years sleeping next to the same person, that spot is now empty and I can't even begin to comprehend the void. You are a strong man, stronger then you think. After mom died, I was stuck and buried so DEEP in my own grief I never even stop to think of you. I made a lot of poor decisions and choices based on angry and depression and I want to just say sorry for putting you though even more than you were already dealing with. At one point I remember being so angry with you, blaming you for not saying good bye to mom, to angry and hurt followed me for years and for the life of me I couldn't let go. I lost years full of sadness and regret. I took to "living" in the wrong way and only ended up hurting myself. I couldn't ask for a better father because your it, you are the truly meaning of unconditional love and although you are as hard-headed as they come I'm now old enough to know that it's because you know what you are talking about, yes daddy knows best! I remember being a little girl, Adelita, and you would ALWAYS let me play with you hair, put bows, volita, whatever I wanted lol those were some one the best moments of my child hood because of that I know how important it is to be silly with Exavier and just let him be a kid, you a mom were notorious for that, just letting me and my sisters be a KID. Daddy I love you and I wish I could wash all your heartache away and I know you miss her but like I always tell you, YOU CAN'T go NO WHERE, We need you , I need you, Ex needs you, you are his only grandparent and it's important that he bonds, connects, and knows you. I don't know what I would do without you in my life, all your encouragement, love, and praise is truly what gets me by sometimes and besides you promised you would win the lotto and take care of me before you go to meet mama. Thank you for being such a wonderful dad, loving me, creating me, and putting up with all the drama of 5 little women. You rock daddy! I love you!


7 love notes:

atropa belladonna said...

this made me cry. . .i love you :)

LaCara said...

This made me cry! This is so touching, you are a beautiful strong woman and I'm sure you mom and dad is very proud of you! Keep your head up sweetie!


jayka :) said...

i love you. you are so awesome.

Anonymous said...

this is too sweet. you are too strong. what is your nationality?

Netta D said...

This was beautiful.
I'm doing this same 30 day challenge.
check me out at

love, keys said...

strong, beautiful and amazing woman you are babe. <3

Kara said...

Oh my god LaLa this post was so beautiful!! So touching, so sweet and I can FEEL the love you have for your parents. Super special.