Monday, September 07, 2009

"Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep"
I've been threw swaps of trials, heaviest emotions, suffered many losses and carried all the baggage. I've been up and I've been down, I dug myself up from under the dirty. I've been step up, damaged and abused. Unappreciated and used. I grew up way to fast and lost many years of my life trying to get them back. I have the hugest chip on my shoulder that no one seems to get pass. I have an issue with letting go and can't seem to look pass what I already know. I have a habit of thinking things are all the same and I'm just done playing games. I've learned that I'm my own best friend and love well it's more then just a four letter sane. I've grown pass my "I need you" stage and I'm sure that am all that I need. I used my mistakes as stepping stones to see pass you and now I'm looking over you. I have a lust for love and can't seem to get enough, it's like I'm new to you but to me your so yesterday's news. I can't help but think that nothing will ever phase me. Even if I lost you. I've lost once and I'm sure I will again. My heart can't possibly break, it was never whole to begin. I can't love fully, 100% of me I just can't give, for every step I take toward you I take 3 back I can't give you something I never had. I've been places some people will never see and I've been dealt a hand that dealers never seen. My problem is not loving, I love purely, whole heatedly. My problem is feeling; sincerely, meaningful, and timely... --L

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