Friday, April 24, 2009

already written

So I think I mentioned this once before, or told someone where once that I'm always writing. I will write notes on gum wrappers, my hand, napkins, ANYTHING if I can't find a piece of paper or my note pad. I tend to see things, read things, hear, see, or notice something and it instantly triggers a WRITERS BUTTON and I have to note it down or else it will be gone forever!! Well going threw my very over sized purse this AM I stumble across this little note;

it reads; "Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours."

funny thing is I can remember writing this down but not a clue where it came from... I know exactly why I wrote it tho. I just think it popped up at an ideal time in my life, again. I read this and it reminded me that I've had so many different types of men in and out of my life but no matter how different they were from each other they all had one thing in common, they needed a mother, a savior, a super hero, guidance if you will. Being that person is EXHAUSTING! I got tired of putting people together and helping and helping and HELPING!!! I wounder "man why do I always get these type of men in my life..." & it wasn't until TODAY looking looking back that I realized it wasn't THEM it was ME! I was attracting these types of dudes! & as much as I can say I hated it, I kept doing it because it made me feel needed, wanted, and that I was doing something that took focus off myself. You see when I valued to give up on everything and everyone to work on ME! Find true love for myself. A couple of things happened, I fell in love, with myself, I started to think and act differently and I rebuilt my standards and expectations of men! Well low and behold after almost a year later from taking down this note, I've retracted so MUCH from this statement. & I so believe YOU ARE, WHAT YOU ATTRACT! Once I took myself out of the situations I was in and begin to fix myself & become with amazing women before you lol haha POOF legit men came! (& that poof wasn't for dramatic purposes there really was a POOF lmao) Now with good men around it's hard to accept that "nope that's not the one for me" cause even tho everything can and is ALL good it's very possible that's it's not all good FOR YOU! With time and patients you'll know when it's the right one. It's without effort and just happens that simply and easy. TRUST! Now I'm just rambling but I think you get my point!

I love finding things that PROVE and SHOW and how far you've come!

0 love notes: