Wednesday, February 25, 2009

one of forty ,

Today marked my first day of Lent. As many of you may know I'm a proud Vegetarian for almost two years now. Giving up meat was nothing to me, piece of cake (mmmmm CAKE lmao) Today I struggled! I straight feel like crack head Ezel, "$2.50 and a jaw break!?" haha. OMG I didn't realize how dependent I am on the sweet stuff. The truth is I don't eat, I know that sounds hard to believe but I don't, my issue is I snack, I snack a lot but I'm not eating chips and junk, it's the sweet mess I'm always on all day, everyday! It's crazy so today I was like, um ok, what do I do with myself, cause I wasn't even hungry I'm just so damn use to snacking on my candy, sipping on my coffee with a blueberry muffin or a Starbucks' ricecrispy or wolf's cupcake! SIGHHHH!!! I convinced one of my friends, David who loves sweets just as much as me to give it up with me, so we literally spent hours texting today talking about how horribly dumb we were for thinking we could kick this sugar habit! haha. BUTTTT the good news is we didn't cheat or give into temptation, we are still going strong, a little crazy but we are doing this!!! I hope this gets easier, I just prayed that god would take the thought of it away from me so I could stay faithful to the commitment I have made to him. Other then that the caffeine and sex is in the bag at least for now, I haven't had to the urge either way. let's keep it that way

Reading threw my dailies (my Breakfast Club) today I noticed a LOT of folks are going threw hard times. Gotta have something to do with this weather mannnn. I just see a lot of what my fellow blogger are going threw and feel for them cause 8x outta 10 I was there at some point. The world seems to be in such a depression as of late, everywhere I look I see the struggles of others and it weighs heavy on my heart. It seems like more and more madness is happening. People are losing there minds and life. People are killing and dying at an all time high... is it the economy? Money? Jobs? Income? Welfare? Lack of resources? ....I never watch the news because I think it's extremely depressing and negative! But the other day I was talking to my sister and she happen to have it on, and the 1st 3 top story's were about people killing themselves or others and of course more job cut backs more foreclosures and bankruptcies. It's insane! I actually had a really interesting convo with AK today about just that, America. "we all spend our lives at work for... for what exactly? To live just to work more and not enjoy our time, time we commit to companies who could drop us at a snap of a figure." it's funny he said this cause it's something I think about all the time! The subject of this evolved over the discussion of weekends and how WE as workers should enjoy OUR weekends, cause in reality it's all we have left after busting our butts 9-5 Monday threw Friday!In my case way more then that. I went on to tell him how I at one point didn't go out or do anything on the weekends because I was so exhausted from busting my butt all week. & we all know that changed when I got Activism in my life!! :) He laughs but Christopher you truly DO inspire me! Anyhow me and AK agreed that exciting, eventful weekends are a MUST, life is too short not to enjoy what's left of our week, two days! As I see it now I can work myself to death and for what?!? To have no time nor energy to enjoy the fruits of my labor, NOT HAPPENING!!! As Debbie Deb put it, WEEKENDS WERE MADE FOR FUN! For my dear friend and bloggers in ruts, just keep your head up, keep pushing, keep faith that this too shall pass! Where one door closes another one opens, so you can stop using the window! Most importantly my ladies, love you, do you, cause no one can do you better then you can do yourself! As women we tend to forget about ourselves our needs, wants, our ins and outs. Well make today the day to remind yourself, just who you really are. Look in the mirror and talk to yourself, tell yourself that before there was him there was only you and after him there you'll still be! I'm considering making a "love your man but love you 10x more Movement for my ladies. We shall see! Stay tune for that, I'm almost sure it's gonna pop off!

Over all I had a good day off, a tad productive but mostly restful, which I needed!! Downloaded some really good music and did some great writing which I'm sure I'll share in the next few days. As I have mentioned to a few of you I'm super stuck on Ryan Leslie's cd right now, I listen to it over & over again - car, work, ipod, lap top, OBSESSED! lol But really if you haven't test drove this joint you really really need to! I honestly feel he is what R&B was missing! The second cd in rotation is Drake, So Far Gone. OMG this cd is AMAZING!! Now if you haven't downloaded this your INSANE! I feel every damn track it's crazy to have TWO cds that you can listen to ALL the way threw and even on repeat! Let's just say my ears are in constant orgasm mold lately! So if you don't have these joints in your collect, get on it! Before I shut my eyes I have to share with ya'll the one thing today that bought me the most joy, one word Godspeedand two of my favorite men, Arcieri Keness & d33zilla. Today I got the news that AK's book is done and ready to be SUPPORTED, that means buy it! These two guys have the creative mental that will bring you to your knees!! I'm so hyped and happy and I'm honored to have befriended these creative souls. BIG THINGS COMING! I copped my book this afternoon, I can't wait to get it and crack it open!!! Congrats boys, I'm beyond proud and happy for you all! TOUCH THE SKY FELLAS.

ps. THANK YOU ALL for all the warm welcome backs and good vibes and energy your are and have sent my way. Feels good to know my faithfuls missed me and wait patiently to come back onto the scene of things! I missed you all too and definitely missed blog, I'm BACK and better then ever, thank for the love, I love you guys!!!

going to bed,

2 love notes:

Kay said...

yeah i think i know what shoes ur talking about.... they had purple ones too right?? i didnt go gaga over them so i let them stay right there lol

Seth B. said...

I love it! You sound like you're growing and you've made so much progress. I'm so proud of you!

Raina encouraged me to give up some things for Lent, even though we're not Catholic. I'll post it later today or tomorrow.