Monday, February 23, 2009

full-fledge comeback!

Guess who's back...back again.. LALA's back.. tell a friend.

To fully understand where I'm going you must 1st understand where I was...

Well as most of you have gathered I've been out of internet life and blogging for a cool minute. As I told some of my close personal friends and favorite bloggers. I needed a break! I was going threw a lot in my life and my mental was going all over the place. I needed my s p a c e . And although blogging is hella therapeutic, I just need to focus on me and dig and climb myself out of this hole I was buried in and NO ONE knew. So, so much for screaming for help, no one could even hear my pain threw my glared over smile. But it's all the same cause no ones help would have really "helped" anyhow, this was definitely something I had to do alone. In the misted of putting myself back together I realized I had a LOT of left over, unnecessary pieces. Including; people, "friends", hardships, hurt, angry, bitterness, regret, lost, sadness, ISSUES, BAGGAGE if you will. Pfft. it's no wonder I had a breakdown no one in there right mind can carry all the junk around forever. So it was time for a funereal, time to let go of the users, abusers, takers, un-appreciators, free loaders, fake, useless, people in my life. Time to pick myself out of the dirt and bury what really needs to be in the dirt, all that baggage. So that's just what I did, did a lot of soul searching, cleansing, and re-building. I rearranged my life and put me where I needed to be, FIRST!!

I'm prepared for the selfish "talk" and "your not the same" madness, cause I already have gotten it quite a few times in my personal life. But the truth is, I don't care. I'm sick of living for everyone else and I'm tired of not being happy and just making sure everyone else is. It's time I did me and did me good cause no one can treat you better then you can treat yourself! So quite honestly things are changing and so is this blog, so either fall in or keep it pushing. It's funny cause although I haven't posted I've kept up with my dailies (my breakfast club) and just as I begin working on re-launching my blog I lost about 10 followers, it made me laugh cause I knew once I launched I would have a lot fall off. But that's OK I want real people, REAL bloggers, feelin me and my blog! This isn't myspace, I'm not looking for numbers, friends, hook ups, yada yada, that's why I deleted that bitch haha. Just come correct, read, enjoy, and give me your expressions. Thank you for all the LOVE AND SUPPORT! I got your emails and twits and believe me it made me feel good that you all love my blog and love me! I'm glad to be back!

Let's get this started....

If you believed everything you read, you wouldn't be half the man that your are. It's not the sounds of my words, the letters in between the words, nor is it the flow of all I'm trying to say. What's in my heart, what's on my mind is only a quarter of what my figures can type. I write, it's what I do, it's all I know how to do. The motion of my words, the cut of every letter helps to relieve the pressure of things I can not say otherwise. Don't mistake my words as actions. This is simply my mind, my heart in it's simplest form. My idea of what you are cannot even be captured in a million short sonnets. Don't use my verbiage for validation, don't set your mind to believe what is unjust. I'm just a writer, a blogger.... Everything and anything triggers something else, like a firework, it takes a fuse to get it started and once it's lite, it's amazing what comes out; colors sparks, glitter & gold. What I do, what I've done, and what am about to partake; my if's, why's, but's, and biggest mistakes. I write what I please, not what pleases you. If you can't take the realness of my words and the heart that goes in them, proceed out the line of my fire cause my voice only gets higher. With each expression, I make it count, you couldn't afford to understand me and you couldn't pay me to explain. But if you close your eyes and listen, you may hear the tapping of my key board as my figure tips begin to pour, the core of my mind, the span of my heart, and depths of my soul.

now emancipating,

6 love notes:

J.Rae said...

yay for being back !
i LOVED this entire post. i hate that blogger has turned into a numbers game and people are writing to an audience instead of what really goes on in their head.

i know it's just a post but it's so...poetic(if that makes ANY sense ). it just flows so well and it gets deep without a bunch of extraness.

LOVE the new look and this song !

KAR11NA said...

Glad you back

Seth B. said...

Welcome back baby!

Haha! I feel priviliged cause I've talked to you like everyday since the break.

I'm so excited about what's to come!

M.S. said...

hooooly SHIT BOO!!! how the hell did you get your blog looking sooooooo sexy? i LOVE the rennovations<333333 sooo sexy!!! just like my boo<3

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

I think sometimes when family/friends see you've changed they get scared cause they think you might leave them behind. You sound like you really matured and are in a good place. Im kinda jealous cause I still need to get there myself lol

Mrs. Johnson said...

i thought you fell off the earth! i had to inquire with chris what happened...sniff sniff. i'm glad your "fall off the earth" was a good one for you. there's nothing wrong with taking time for it before it's too late. thanks for the comments on our blog. keep your head up...all of our experiences are for a reason and i can truly testify to that cuz all of those weird and crazy pieces of my life fit together now. can't wait to see how the rest of the pieces will fit! life is about our attitudes.