Wednesday, January 07, 2009

your so called M.I.L.F

Here is the dilemma...
A single mother is looked at as so many things but what she really is. We get it from all sides of the bored. Having a child, with no husband or bf. Taking on the world with a child on her back, never really asking anyone for anything or anything from anyone. But yet she permanently labeled! She is no longer just a single girl or women, she is a single mother!! She can't do anything she did before, like when she was single without a child. Dating, drinking, clubs, bars, relationships, friends, etc, etc. It's funny how many people have something to say when you "go out" and you have a child. haha. I wasn't aware that becoming a mother meant life as you knew it, is now OVER!!? People who know me, know that's just not me, I'm not a partier, never have but I'm speaking for friends and other ladies I know out there who get this LOOK, by family, friends, and shit even folks you don't even know. It's insane! And god forbid you opt to drink. A mother drink?!?... they don't do that!!
Now as for the men, dating, and relationships well let's just say, I'm over it. Seriously it's FUCKED UP! Every man thinks along the same line...either they won't mess with you because they think you must be, looking for a "baby daddy", feel because you have a child you must be screwing your "baby daddy", think that somehow since you have one child with the slightest touch you'll get PG again, or they simply follow the "rule", "standard", I just don't date women with kids.... totally disregarding the women as a person period, only looking at the one thing, she has a child. I mean really... When did being a mom make who I AM as a person, a women, for god sakes a human being. It really pisses me off that I can't have anything 'normal' because I have a child. I'm sick of these small minded men who think they are god to judge me based on me having a child from a pass relationship.

1. I am in no way looking for a "baby daddy", I take care of ME and MY SON by my SELF, I don't get child support, welfare, state aid, NOTHING. I hustle my fucking ass OFF EVERY damn day to take care of me and mines. Bottom line I want a man to join my life NOT become my life, my son is my life. I don't take men around my son for the simple fact that, no one is that important, that should say something. If I was trying to push myself and/or my son on someone I would do just that. FALL IN children.

2. Don't discount me just because I'm a mom, discount me because you don't like me or what I'm about. It's ridiculous to think that you wouldn't date me or have a relationship with me just based on the fact that I have a child. Beyond the fact that I am a mom, I am still a person with a personality, a heart, and mind. Respect that.

I'm sick of being good enough to "fuck" but not date, keep, love, wife, or any of that shit. You think calling me a MILF makes me feel good... Mom I'd Like to Fuck. WOW!! Not mom I want to marry, mom I want to love, mom I want to take home to my mom, NOPE, just fuck. It's sad, really it is.

To all my single mamas out there, keep your head up, keep hustling, keep smiling, and most importantly don't ever settle. OURS will come. I really do believe that, a man that makes sense and WANTS to help the hustle not hinder it, will come. A man who wants to hit it and stay. A dude that's down for you and one day maybe your child too. Just be patient and stop wasting time with these clowns out here trying to take you under. These boys who like to pose as men, who think that since you have a child, you must be easy, a slut, a whore, etc etc. Ladies, Do you and your child and just fuck the rest! Don't let these men call you a milf or any other bullshit nicknames!! It demeaning to you and your child. Your so much more then any man can give you credit for!!! Remember any man who discounts you doesn't deserve you. You're a mother but that's not all you are, if they can't take the time to see that or mind to understand that, walk away and don't look back!

Pass on the WOFT!

3 love notes:

Seth B. said...

Wow, I can almost feel the heat coming off your face as you're writing this. LoL!

You bring up a lot of good points while explaining your frustrations. I have SO many opinions for the given topic. We should definitely discuss this when we hang out.

Mendoza Santos said...

omgggggggggg fantastic entry.
you've expressed everything perfectly.
i dont even have anything to say, but to really give you a million props.

xoxo

Jenn(ifer) said...

Amazing thoughts!
Amazing post.

I applaude you; I wish I had the balls to live by those thoughts sometimes.