Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Friends

Disclaimer - I began this blog 1/12/09 with life, work, and lack of hours in the day I haven't been able to complete it. I just want to say this is NOT a shot at anyone, it's a shot at A LOT of people!! It's how I feel it's how I see it, if you get offended or pissed that's your issues NOT mine, fix it or fall back! Thanks all, enjoy. FEEDBACK Please!

"Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Ones we can depend on
Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Before we go any further, lets be
Friends"


Yes that is Whodini, old but remains to be one of the illest most TRUE songs ever. Now a days people throw the term "Friend" around like a basketball. Folks call the mailman a Friend, the chick behind you in the super market line, a homegirl. The meaning of "Friends" has become so full of shit it's hard to believe it ever meant anything to anyone! FRIENDS...

"Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesnt know the meaning of friends
And if you ask me, you know, I couldnt be much help
Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself
Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake kindness for bein a fool"


It's true everyone has there own idea, concept, "criteria", or perhaps qualification of what a friend or friends should be or have. People have different ways of choose there friends, close circles, and/or running packs. Your idea of a friend maybe somewhat "over the top" for someone else and other may just consider everyone other the wind to be a friend because they don't believe the word friend to mean nothing, just another word. I tend to choose my friends wisely, I definitely do NOT call every one a friend, I wisely know the difference between; acquaintances, co-works, friends, and people I just happen to know. I like to think my friends are TOP NOTCH, do top notch things, so deserve a top notch friend in return! I've been jaded by so called friends lots of times and I've learned that not everyone is your friend NO MATTER how well they "play" the part at the appropriate times. I'm pretty good at smelling bullshit, spotting fake-ass people!! I've wasted far to much time in pass friendship where it was clearly one sided. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about, those "friendships" that just suck the life out of you. Those "friendships" that tend to show up at their convenience, simply enough, take your kindness for weakness, your friendship as a tool, to get what they want, when they want it or need it!

"We like to be with some, because they're funny
Others come around when they need some money
Some you grew up with, around the way
And you're still real close too this very day
Homeboys through the Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall
And then there's some we wish we never knew at all
And this list goes on, again and again
But these are the people that we call friends"


You would think when choose a "crew" it would be the easiest thing to do, people with the same interests, points of views, way of thinking, etc etc. My idle friends think like me? Hell no I'm crazy enough I don't need to hang out with clones. heh. Of course you want to have similar interest but the idea is to surround yourself with people who complete you, people who have the thing you, yourself are lacking. I mist of doing this you come across, deadbeats, low lifes, negative, bitter ass people who simply want some company to their misery! It's pathetic!! Then you have the haters, gossip, jealousy, envy, competition, and madd ego wars. Plane and Simple if you can't be happy for a friend, then your NOT their friend! If you constantly need to COMPARE yourself, what you have, what you do to what your friends have and do, THEY AREN'T and YOUR NOT a friend. If you feel you need to be in competition, word to the wise, Friendship ISN'T a race nor a game to win! I'm sick of negative people and their negative energy! All they want to do is feel sorry for them self and talk about all you have instead of figuring out how to fix their situation they are stuck on yours. Friends enhance your life, NOT take from it.

"When we first went out together, we barely knew each other
We had no intentions, on becoming lovers
But in no time at all, you became my girl
Me and you, one on one, against the world
Talkin on the telephone for hours at a time
Or else I was at your house, or you was at mine
Then came the arguements and all kinds of problems
Besides making love, we had nothing in common
It couldnt last long because it started out strong
But I guess we went about the whole thing wrong
Cause out of nowhere it just came to an end
Because we became lovers before we were friends"


This part of the song forces me to take a little turn. One of the ongoing conversation me and my best friend have is about how (a lot) of men tend to rush into relationships without any real consideration of the female and who she is vs who he is. I've come across to many men that met me one day and ready to call me "their girl" the next. What happen to getting to know each other? What happen to dating? What happen to working up to something more? 9 x's out of 10 this is why relationships don't work, because she/he became "your lover before you became friends" you realize, two weeks, three months, into the relationships that it just ain't going to work because you have NOTHING in common and total different view on life and religion!! Well new flash you wouldn't have wasted that time if you would of slowed your roll. Everyone is always in a rush, rush to met, connect, fall in love, be happy... it's work, it's time, it's energy. Nothing great ever happened over night. Kids go back to the basics, real love develops, "love at first sight" is just lust and burns out quickly!

"You say you and your girlfriend were so tight
You took her out with you and your guy one night
She even had a set of keys to your home
And you shared mostly everything you owned
But as she shook your hand, she stole your man
And it was done so swift, it had to be a plan
Couldn't trust her with cheese, let alone your keys
With friends like that you dont need enemies
You wonder how long it was all going on
And your still not sure if your man is gone
You say, well if she took him he was never mine
But deep inside you know thats just another lie"


As almost everyone has been back stabbed it's hard to believe these people still exist, but they do. It just seems as you get older the back stabbing get more intense and deep! Luckily I have come across a "betrayer" in a very long time. But I have before. That's one thing I have learned is not to trust someone from the gate, trust is earned and proved to show you deserve to keep it! I've been taken advantage of more times then I can can't, my generosity has gotten me in a world wind of trouble countless times. Those "friend posers" will eat, take, steal, grab, and rape you of all you have if you allow it. Truth is you shouldn't have to give anything but friendship to get friendship. Don't lie to yourself to keep someone in your life that really is just there to gain the superficial!

"And now you're kinda cold to the people you meet
Cause of something that was done to you by some creep
But nevertheless, I'll say it again
That these are the people that we call friends
Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Before we go any further, lets be
Friends"


Friends don't come and go, people do! Friends, real friends may travel to different places, you may part, temporarily but they remain in your heart, in your mental till you meet again, and those are the people I call friends. F*CK the users, posers, haters, blood suckers, back stabbers, those kids just looking for a hand out not a real friendship. I hold my friends close to my heart and give and offer then the world. I make time for them and that's a lot coming from someone who is a work-a-holic and single mother. But my friends deserve the best and I hold them so dearly to my heart that I wouldn't be showing how much I appreiate them and their friendship if I didn't make that EXTRA effort to send an email, quick text, write a simple thinking about you card, or just shout out on my blog. EVERYONE is busy, EVERYONE is living there life. (some more so then others) But truth be it no matter how much time you have, you'll treat the ones you love and truly appreciate well, you won't forget, and you wont let them forget how much they matter. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never be that person again to close out the world, my friends, my loved ones over someone, anyone, or my situation. I did it once and never again would I dare do something so stupid. In the end of every situation or "current" person the ones who are still behind you, holding you up, cheering you on, cleaning your tears, and pushing you to go on, is most likely the same ones you ditched along the lines. But there is only so much a person can take and will take. Only so much bullshit one can eat till they get sick to their stomach of it and you and move the hell on. Blame yourself. Not them. I speak from experience and know both sides of the story and how it ends each time. Choose your friends wisely. Call your friends wisely. Know that not everyone is your friend and most likely you'll have 5 super friends tops, ones that are real and equal in giving and taking. Realize that friendship is just like a relationship, you can't take take take and expect the person on the other end to stay around. It's give and take, thank you and your welcome, hearing and listening, good times and bad. The stronger the bond the harder to break. Sometimes the number of years knowing someone is irrelevant, it's just simply a number and still remains to be a WOFT. My friends are golden and I would move and heaven for them. I've been blessed with amazing people and that's why I do so much for them because they bless my life every day just by being part of my life.

Take care of the ones you love, remain faithful to the ones who remain faithful to you. Beware of the takers, the ones that constantly have their hand out, you don't need them or there selfishness in your life. Embrace the positive and let go of the negative. Remain true to the ones who have proven time and time again of there real friendship! Love those who love you and lastly remember just like a cat or fish you need to remember to feed and nurture your relationships and friendships.

1 love notes:

Myke B said...

WoW! you are tha sh*t for this! LoL ilove how you broke it down. blog on lil mama. blog on!