Monday, December 01, 2008

sweet hellos and sad goodbyes

I was waiting for the longest time, He said.
I thought you forgot.

It is hard to forget, I said
when there is such an empty space when your gone.

So after making my announcement at Thanksgiving dinner, of my plans to move to the East Coast next year, I’ve gotten both negative and positive feedback.
--what I’m leaving
--why I’m leaving
--for how long, forever?
--relationships, friendships, bonds, attachments
--& of course Exavier

First off where I live, stay, reside, make home doesn’t define who I AM. I am going to be me and do me no matter where I’m at and where I’m living. I’m a strong enough person to always be me no matter the circumstances.
I’ve always been a person to embrace change. I love it the most. I’ve lived in California all my life and have yet too really travel anywhere besides the usual trips every now and again. I love testing and pushing myself, mainly because I know I can do whatever I put my heart and mind to. Leaving to the East Coast would put me outside my comfort zone, I’ll be all alone, a new life, a new start. I have no family there, just me and Exavier, my Family! It’s what I need, it’s what I want. To understand it, is to want so much for yourself and your child that you know the only way to achieve more and greater is to let go of the less and mediocre.
As of now my plan is to move toward the end of the year, 2009. I’m looking to start my life and family there. Therefore make it home. I can’t say I will never come back because I don’t know that but as of now I’m planning on staying and raising my son there.
I understand that distance and relationships tend not to mix very well but the heart of the matter is that friends, REAL friends are friends no matter where you are. How does that song go, “ain’t no mountain high enough….” With technology growing the way it is there is no reason why we can’t stay connected and close as we are. Plus they have trains, planes, and cars. The distance between us shouldn’t be greater then are friendship can travel, if it is then we weren’t really friends to began with. I trust that I will remain close to those who matter most to me and hey those who fall off, well I really never needed you anyway.
Lastly, let’s no get it twisted, my only and solo commitment is to one person and that’s my son. Everything I do in this life is for and because of him. I’m moving to give him a better life. I am in no way obligated to anything or anyone here in Cali or there in the East Coast. People seem to think, that I can’t think, or act on my own notions and reasons. I have a brain and am fully capable of thinking things out on my own. Although a part of me wants Exavier to be around family and all my family lives in Cali, I know in the end I’m doing the best things for him and myself. In the end no one and nothing is perfect but I can surly try and bust my ass trying to give this little person the best life possible.
Just fall in or fall out.
Keep your negativity and drama to yourself, I don’t need it.
Granted I am going to miss my family and friends beyond words but this isn’t another Country people and I’m not dying. I’ll be around and you should come around. <3

A Thank You goes out to KeepitFUNKY
for joining my faithful readers, thank you much doll and welcome.

1 love notes:

KeepitFUNKY said...

I admire your strength in taking that big leap and moving literally cross country. Best of luck wherever you decide to reside out here. =)